Self-doubt is normal.
It’s time for us to stop the stigma and stop the hiding. We all have self-doubt sometimes. Truly, it’s not about if we HAVE self-doubt, but about how we COPE with the doubt that creates peace and/or success in our life.
Though it may seem like so many on TV and on social media are totally and truly confident all the time, in most cases that is absolutely not true. But so many of us have the tendency to hide our doubt in shame. And by never sharing it, we perpetuate this mindset.
There are days that I don’t feel as if what i’m writing is good enough, or I reflect on something I wrote and feel a tinge of shame. If I went back in time, the tinge of shame would have been a total tsunami of shame. This is normal. We will have different levels of shame depending on our circumstances throughout life. Some of us feel shameful more often than others. Of course it’s not where most of us want to be, and it’s not what most of us want to feel. We want to feel free from our own judgement, the world's judgement, and the deep painful feeling of shame.
In times like this there are a few things that are important to note if we want to cope with the sometimes heavy road block of self-doubt. Self-doubt is the very thing that keeps us from being our full selves. Our beautiful, unique, funny, quirky, lovely, kind, different selves. That's the last thing that we need, and it's the last thing this world needs. The world will be a little less bright without our uniqueness.
I want to give you some of the tips that I use to help you move through this ‘creation-shame’ in your day to day life. These are mindset reframed that I utilize so that I can finish content and find the courage to put my content out into the world!
Let's jump in! First,
Acknowledge that whatever feeling you are feeling, is valid.
If we are shaming ourselves for feeling shame about not meeting our standards, that will only put us deeper into the self perpetuating hole of creation avoidance. Why would we feel motivated to create anything when our hand feels it's being smacked at every turn? It feels as if we can't do anything right when we are constantly berating ourselves. It’s normal to have that reaction based on what we've been through in life, but the best response is to truly tap into the compassion for ourselves. I know that isn't always easy, but with practice it gets easier, I PROMISE. If we can remember that these feelings are part of the growth process and that this feeling won’t last forever, things will absolutely improve. <3
Not everyone has the same expectations that you do.
Everyone has different levels of expectations, and so, there is no way to please everyone! We have to do what we believe is wonderful. What we believe is beautiful. What we believe is right. If you don't know what feels right, beautiful, or wonderful, I recommend watching my video about following the warmth and why it's important. Once you start practicing and honing in on what feels warm and bright to you, you can keep creating until you feel a little bit of warmth. If you don't feel it yet, you can always practice just throwing it out. I've done that MANY times. And my content and art only improves each time. After you start getting the courage to share, we can then truly attract those who need to hear our voice the most.
Even if you haven’t found your tribe and followers yet, it doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
Even if you haven’t found the people who resonate with your content, your energy, or who you are as a person, it doesn’t mean they don’t exist. You aren’t alone in your perspectives even if it feels like it right now. BUT, those like us cannot find us if we do not yet have the courage to share our selves with the world. They will surely find us, and us them when we are ready to meet them. When we finally are ready to dive into the water and allow the universe to provide us all we need to stay afloat.
Provide love and understanding to the parts of yourself you are still confused about.
People are always saying to let ‘yourself’ shine. Put your TRUE self out there. But what if you don’t know who you are? This can be a scary feeling sometimes. It can sometimes feel hopeless. As if we won't be able to attract the life, the friends, and the have the experience we want to have feeling like this. It can sometimes feel like the world expects us to know who we are. But I'm here to say, its so normal to not know who we are. It's okay to share this feeling. You are not alone in it. I encourage you to set your intention to find out who you are and what you stand for, and in no time, if you truly want this, you WILL find the answers. If we continue to put ourselves in a state of love and allow the universe/god/source/higher self/intuition to lead us to the next best opportunity of feeling good, we will find out exactly what we stand for in no time.
Algorithms, networks, time, and practice exist.
If you are a creator, and you aren’t getting the likes, follows, and engagement that you want, it doesn’t mean that you don’t have incredible content! When it comes to creating content with engagement there is a whole lot that goes on behind the scenes that helps that engagement manifest. Algorithms. Once we learn how to understand the algorithms of social media or shop websites we can better take advantage of the exposure available for our cause. If you are selling media, art, or music in-person and aren’t getting the sales or engagement you want, remember these things can take time! Things won't typically happen overnight. It takes practice! It takes courage. Courage to be social, expose our vulnerabilities, and potentially hear the world ‘no’. (No gets easier with time)
Don’t take dislikes or feedback personally! …. Actually, don't take anything personally!
We cannot vibe with everyone. It's simply not humanly possible. There will be people who have different beliefs that just won’t jibe with ours. People will always project their world view on us and our art. Each and every one of our worldviews are based on what we’ve experienced in our life. *Think about someone in your life who you disliked. Maybe in high school, middle, elementary? If you've ever experienced coming in contact with someone similar, you may have experienced the feeling of being reminded on the first person you disliked and also feel resistance towards this new person! This new person hadn't done anything for you to feel this way, but you still do.* This is the power of our past. SO, there will be worldviews that support our art, and worldviews that don’t support our art. Either way, by sharing our voice, likes and dislikes, we may touch one heart, and in doing so create a ripple effect that changes the world.
Just start creating! Create past the doubt.
When we start new project, (it could be writing, drawing, painting) we may feel doubt set in when we notice it’s not sounding or looking like we want it to right away. We may want to quit. We may feel strong resistance. BUT, to create something we love, it takes sculpting and modifying. It takes growth and love to cultivate it. If we keep going rather than giving up, soon enough we may very well be inspired and fall in love with it! (Happened to me several times within this article!)
Remember this is all part of the journey, and that no matter how ‘perfect’ or ‘imperfect’ you find your work, there will be one person out there, maybe stuck in the dark, who needed to hear your voice and your perspective. <3 You are beyond worthy.
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