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This is why your uniqueness IS your beauty, NOT your inadequacy

Updated: Jan 26, 2021

Inadequacy, something I would step out on a ledge to say burdens the hearts of many humans within our world. The dictionary defines inadequacy as "the quality or state of being inadequate or insufficient." I also define it as failing to see the beauty inherently within our hearts, within our souls. We learn as we grow up that we need to look a certain way, talk a certain way, just BE a certain way. We can never reach those standards unless we become a chameleon, peeling away our beauty and hiding it away. We have misguidedly labeled our uniqueness as "bad" or "ugly" instead of realizing the pure amazingness that we are, and so many of us fear for that "bad" or "ugly" to be seen.

BUT, what society doesn't teach us. The mainstream media doesn't teach us. What school doesn't teach us, is that our uniqueness is WHAT MAKES US BEAUTIFUL.

This is something that has been a lifelong struggle for me. I could never be the weight that I wanted to be regardless of how long I starved myself or dieted for. I could never have the face that I wanted to have regardless of how much makeup I put on. My clothes were never as perfect as I wanted them to be. I didn't feel like the others. I could never have the "perfection" that the media and people around me told me I should have. I hated myself and it pained my heart that I could not be the perfection that I desired. This hurt my soul. A lingering feeling of worthlessness was my existence. And so I became that chameleon I thought I needed to be to find love. To feel love.

This has been a life-long process, and many days I still forget, and there are many things I still feel deep rooted frustration about. But it's not about perfection. There is no such thing as perfection. Perfection is in the perspective. What is perfect to someone else may not be perfect to you. It's not about instant change. It's about integration and it's about progress. Integration of the things that we wish we loved about ourselves but maybe don't just yet. Integration of the idea that we are different AND beautiful (because we are.)

It's about fostering gratefulness to help us remember our loveliness.

I love that my body always has by best intention in mind.

I love that my body helps me move around when I need to.

I love that my body helps me breathe in the beautiful air surrounding me.

I love that my body and mind always lead me towards things that I will love.

There is always something to love about ourselves. Your list may be different than mine, and that's amazingly, wonderfully, fantastic! There is always beauty to see, every which way that we turn, even if that turn looks different than the turns that other people are taking. We just have to look for it on the road that WE are on. Soon enough the beauty will reveal itself to us, the more we practice looking for it.

If you aren't feeling the loveliest today I encourage you to take a look at what is amazing about you. It could be that you are able to smell. It could be that you have lovely hair. It could be that your feet are easy to walk on. There are so many small things we can find to love about ourselves.

We are unique. We are different. We aren't perfect. We feel what we feel, and that is just fine. That is wonderfully okay.

Things come with time. Keep the patience. The love will come. If we just give it time and look for the clues, and it will soon lead us to the ultimate universal love that we have been drawn to since we were born.

1 Comment

Jan 21, 2021

Such a great read!...Such an important topic. I love your comment about being the "chameleon". Something, likely everyone has experienced to a degree at one time or another.

Takes me back to a time when I came to that same awareness. I remember listening to these enlightened lyrics from Pete Townshend on "Quadrophenia".

"Why do I have to be different to them,

Just to earn the respect of a dance hall friend....

Why do I have to move with a crowd

Of kids that hardly notice I'm around

I work myself to death just to fit in..."

It is so liberating to come into your own and find that love within yourself. Which reminds me of something the talented Bill…

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